Rev. Dan Polecheck - Universal Life Church Ministries - What Are You Unintentionally Communicating?

Last week at Sam's Club I saw a fellow talking to at his wife. The way he was doing it, I’m sure all she was hearing was “YOU’RE STUPID!” I heard enough to know that he either thought she should understand or it was something he believed he’s already explained several times. He was frustrated and she was feeling beat up. It was not a good thing for their marriage.

Before I continue, I need to confess that I have done this to my wife. In fact, I’ve done it this year. Now I could rightly claim my recent versions of this were not nearly as nasty as what I saw at Sam's Club, but less wrong and less unloving is still wrong and unloving.

I’ve thought about this a lot. I’m quicker to do this with my wife than I am with others. This despite the fact my wife is in no way stupid and I sometimes deal with folks who seem to be a bit clueless. Why do others so easily receive the grace I have a hard time extending to my wife? “Familiarity breeds contempt” is the easy answer, but it doesn’t really fit.

I think I expect my wife to know what I know and to think and reason as I do. When she doesn’t, I get frustrated and that shows in what I say and how I say it.

So one more difficult thing for me to wrestle with. Oh, joy!